I found myself listening in on a conversation a table away from me and my dining companion at one of the local coffee shops the other day. I had an ear open because the both of us at our table didn't have a lot of new things to say to one another, and we were each busy working over our respective egg choices.
The conversation between the two sixty-something guys seated at the other table involved a class on values and the responses it elicited. I only heard bits and pieces of the dialog. There was an interesting observation as to how deeply held values when challenged could create physical symptoms of illness or distress. There was also a statement from the white bearded philosopher who did most of the talking, that people holding extreme personal or cultural values from both sides of the sociological and political spectrum invariably left the class before completion. I guessed that resolution or compromise was not part of the extremist academic agenda. If the speaker offered his interpretation, I missed it.
Values are serious business for people. This week some ancient guy named James W. von Brunn shot and killed a security guard at the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum. His personal values of white supremacy were being threatened, and he decided the time was right for a violent confrontation at a place that represented people and values who most threatened his. We saw this played out just two weeks ago when another values driven man, whose pro-life values were threatened, killed Dr. George Tiller, who was one of the very few doctors in this country performing the still legal late term medical procedure for women who believed abortion was their only option.
You hear a lot of comments and questions in the waking day regarding values. As a nation of people, what do we truly value in this country? Do we value military might above all else? If not, why do we spend more than half a trillion dollars every year on the military industrial complex? You hear plenty about the value of life from nearly every quarter, and yet we have millions of kids going hungry while living in poverty, incarcerate more people than any other nation and won't cover nearly 50 million Americans who live without health care. So maybe the value of life in this land has more to do with being not dead than it has to do with the quality of life provided for its citizens.
Values of a nation are tough to pin down, because a country's values are really just a collection of individual values. However, values are not permanent. Values shift. What many Americans valued fifty years ago might not hold any value today. Smoking was deemed socially cool in the 1950s, with cigarettes and their accessories holding a high cultural value. Today cigarettes and smokers are held in contempt, social outcasts.
As individuals, our values seem in perpetual conflict. We have more pet dogs (74 million) and cats (88 million) in America than any other nation by far. The numbers are from American Pet Products Manufacturers Association (APPMA). We obviously value pet companionship. However, American Humane estimates that approximately 9.6 million pets are euthanized each year. Yes we love pets, but we kill so many healthy and neglected ones every year.
I thought about a few of the values I have held over the years. I collected music, film, books, art and ball cards for years. I put a high value on my personal collection. But values can change over time, and my attachment to my personal collection of these popular culture fixtures is not as strong today as it was five years ago. My values on this formerly big part of my life have shifted.
There are stories all over America this week, as a result of the two examples of violence I mentioned earlier, that extremism is wrecking havoc throughout the nation. The clash of values on how we live takes place everyday all over the country from barbershops to blogs to living rooms to barrooms. One hundred and forty-four years after the Civil War we appear more divided than ever before, and face the real possibility of another very uncivil war amongst ourselves if we do not find a way to respect differing values.
We need a values check. We need to take a serious look inside each of us and determine what is most important to our individual selves. I believe we need to acknowledge people live in communities where space, time and resources are shared with very divergent people who have their own values, which might be very different from values you or I hold.
I always try to remember that values are not axioms, or self evident truths. Values are constructs of the brain which get applied to people and things we come into contact with. People change, and so do values. You cannot assume your values hold any sway over anyone but yourself. No sense in going nuclear over value differences, or allowing a few very loud shouters to make you defensive. You earned your values the old fashioned way, you made them up as you went along the path you chose.
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